The library and I have a complicated relationship. As much as I love it… there is a LOT of pressure there, you know, to get the books back?
I feel like my life already has SO much pressure in it, I avoid voluntarily to ADDING pressure to my life!
I finaly started taking my kids to the library a few months ago. So far, I have a few fines, but with the help of Auntie H, I am learning a few tips and tricks that lower the pressure levels for me.
So, last week, I told the 2 littles to each pick two books. Of course they came back with 5, and I picked the 2 that looked the least annoying to bring home.
The transition into my parenting time is often a bit rough, last night, there were multiple layers of grief that needed to be sorted through.
One child in particular was experiencing a loss and grief that I felt terrible about. I wanted so much to be able to comfort her, and was really struggling with the scope of her grief.
A great strength my parents had in parenting me, was the ability to look for a the larger picture, to look toward a principle, and parent toward that principle.
That’s something I really try to carry into my own parenting… and last night, I felt lost, and frustrated as I cried out my favorite prayer, “HELP!!!!”
As I held the affected children, it came to me.
“LOVE, I said, comes in lots of different colors. What are some ways we show love?”
sob. Hick up. I don’t know
“well, think about it, what I am I doing right now?”
you’re cuddling us
“ok, there’s one. What else?”
we hug. We play games.
“yes, good. What else?”
Cook food. Wash laundry. Play on the swing. Read a book. Laugh. Tell a joke. Fight. Make up. Listen. Talk…
We added and added to the list.
“what if someone couldn’t use their legs, so they couldn’t play on the swing with you? And they couldn’t speak, so they couldn’t talk with you?”
well, they could still do lots of other things that would show love!
“exactly”
(freaking BRILLIANT KIDS. I pat myself on the back. They should be giving TED talks)
At this point, I went off to do some other tidying up, thinking lights were out and everyone was falling asleep.
When I went back to check in, I found the two of them, lights on, giggling and laughing over some library books I had left in there from reading to the littles before bed.
“LIGHTS OUT!”
“lay DOWN!”
“I TOLD you, you couldn’t sleep in my bed if you were going to be all cray!”
10 minutes later, all the secondary issues have been settled and we are cuddling AGAIN, and I’m thinking, “they are TOO old for this nonsense” and one of them gets all soft, and warm, and gooey, and says,
love is just like that book
“what?”
you know, that library book!
“I don’t think I read that one yet”
she bring it back to bed
(I had just picked this book for the illustrations)
love one
love two
love quiet
love loud
love shy
love proud
love lose
love miss
love smile
love kiss
love tickle
love snug
love care
love share
love always, everywhere
They are GETTING IT.
Like I said, freaking brilliant kids.
(disclaimer, remember, this was ONE layer of the many layers we were dealing with last night, and will continue to unravel as the days come. This was ONE win in a sea of losses as a parent, and I share it with you to give you HOPE. Parenting is like that, huh? So many things at once?)
Love Always Everywhere by Sarah Massini
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