I look out the window at my desk.
It is a view to die for.
I listen to this song.
The words beat in my heart, I dive into the wonder of Creation outside my window.
So many times, he said to me:
You’re the one who changed. I am the same. You weren’t supposed to change.
That wasn’t the deal.
Out my window, the trees look like they are clapping their hands. The winds are high.
I see the sheen of the buds, just under the skin of the trees.
They are about to break out. It’s going to happen overnight. I can tell.
Everything is rising.
Everything is being called up.
What can the buds do, but answer, and bloom?
I feel the weight and power of the river.
It cannot be stopped.
The current is strong and it remains.
Where would it go, but to the ocean?
Sometimes faster.
Sometimes slower.
Everything rising.
The Canada geese alight.
They fight.
Water splashing, the geese are rising.
They are being called upward and outward.
Where would they go, if not north?
Yes.
I changed.
I mean, I didn’t, and I did.
I had taken it for granted.
Daughter of the land, child of the seasons.
I thought that was what we all did.
I thought that was what we would do together.
The call to my soul was everything rising.
It was buds that could do nothing but bloom.
A current that could only go faster.
It was a bird in flight, who could not be caged.
I changed.
A girl became a woman.
A woman grew children.
A body stretched and rebuilt.
A heart wept and was healed.
Things were seen that could never be unseen.
And yes, I changed.
I changed.
Watching the trees clap their hands wasn’t enough anymore.
I had to clap with them.
Feeling the ocean dance around my bound body made my heart scream.
I had to break the ropes and dance in the ocean.
Where could the seed go, but toward the sun?
Where could the heart bend, but toward love?
I struggle to let go of what was, and what wasn’t.
There was only one way for me to grow.
That was toward LOVE.
Upward.
Outward.
Blooming.
Alive.
Moving.
Changing.
YES,
I Changed
People change, all people change, to deny that people change and grow is a foolish belief to have… Everything changes, all things change, sometimes intentional sometimes not so intentional. Part of the beauty of marriage is changing together learning growing reshaping and remolding your individual selves together over time and life’s journeys…. Its ignorant to say or assume someone will never change… every relationship and circumstance of life changes us… shapes us… and a “christian’s” goal is TO CHANGE… to become more Christ-like… what utter ignorance and foolishness to assert that people can’t change… the only constant the only thing that remains the same is God… if you choose to believe in Him if you don’t… the only constant is CHANGE.
It is really exciting to step out of the shame assigned to “you changed” and into the glory and LOVE of “YOU CHANGED”!!!! We are DOING it!