Love brings me a way out every. Single. Time.
I was working at an event this weekend, representing the company for which I recently started working. My brother owns this event, and I knew that some of my family members would be working there. I had emotionally prepared myself to see them, and, though anxious, felt pretty peaceful. The further we get into this being shunned thing, the more compassion I feel for them, and peace about seeing them in public. Maybe they don’t want my compassion, but they have it! Having EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD figured out and BEING RIGHT ABOUT ALL THE SHIT is exhausting and unsustainable. Maybe it will work out for them, I don’t know.
So I was doing pretty well, better than I would have a few months ago.
Until.
My nieces and nephew walked by with an Aunt.
I last laid eye on them 3 months ago.
I last played with them more than a year ago.
I hardly recognized the 2 littlest. They certainly didn’t recognize me.
It was too much. Yeah. All the crying.
But what happened next?
Love showed up in a boss who offered me compassion and let me run away from my work for a bit.
Love showed up in a BFF who was already planning to stop and have lunch with me… timing ended up perfect, she got there right after I lost all composure, with a big, juicy burger. I got to sit in her van with her and breath and stuff my face and feel safe and loved.
Love showed up in a vendor/friend gifting me a massage in her booth… moving the pain and sorrow right out of my shoulders.
Love showed up in the lady who ran the booth across from me, saw me fall apart, and bravely asked me, a stranger, if she could help.
Love was there when I called my Grande and asked her if I could party with her on Thanksgiving, and she joyfully welcomed me into her holiday, warts and all.
Love interrupted my sobbing on the way home from work with a double rainbow that popped out for a just a second.
Things come and go in my life that feel to painful to survive.
I tell you this without reservation. When I stay open and look for LOVE, no matter what, it always finds me.
My kids haven’t seen their cousins-who were like siblings-in over 3 years. Lots of extended family issues for us too. My youngest doesn’t remember his cousins at all. He was almost 3. Yes it’s so hard. Yes love wins each time. Praying for you
I am so sorry for this pain.
Hallie,
We have been part of the shunning process, on the wrong end and it has cost us dearly in the form of relationships. The struggle is still there. Ingrained, like a cancer…
(The song that just came on the radio is “Mighty to Save”, with Laura Story singing it. God’s love just showed up! )Peace was made before it was too late.
May your compassion bring peace from the Lord in your relationship. May the bitter seeds be rooted out. May the joy of the Lord fill its place.
His mercy is everlasting. His Love endures forever.
I pray healing comes for all of you. It is so, so hard, isn’t it?